The Singles: What Type Are You?
After so many events, I have realized that "Singles" are a species different from the rest of the human kind, nothing like the married people, the romantically intertwined, or the serial monogamists. Because they are in a category like none other, I have decided that they only way to help me sort them out is to create sub categories for each type.
The Jetsetter Single
Like anything in life, if you have a goal that you would like to accomplish you have to set time aside to achieve it. Meeting someone is a viable goal that many of us share that requires a personal investment. Our September event had 7 matches and one of them was with two people who had big careers and one involved travelling for work in the following weeks after our event. I know that they had briefly communicated and were trying to make plans. I'm not sure if those plans ever developed or if it went beyond texting. One thing I do know for sure is that momentum is everything. We plan our events early in the week so matches can quickly plan a date that weekend or the following week. It's understandable that careers are demanding and many times work interferes with our personal schedule. However, you can't make it an excuse, if your schedule is packed and you meet someone you like try to meet for a quick coffee, a weekday lunch date, have them join you for a walk or a jog. Even though the situation is not ideal, it shows a sign of good faith and genuine interest. This should allow you both to figure out if the other person is worth a real first date. In this situation, I believe the guy waited several weeks to meet with her, which is sweet, but in my opinion it's a bad move. If someone is keeping you waiting no matter how good their intentions are, you need to carry on and meet them whenever time permits for the both of you. If you have a match and they don't have enough time for you, continue meeting new people- period.
The indecisive Single
This duo made me want to poke my eyes out. These two singles had originally met in August. They both seemed compatible however it was not a match, she liked him but he did not like her. I was surprised, I figured it was his first event and I'm not sure if he was fully acclimated to this new dating concept. Fast forward two events later they meet again, and so I seated them next to each other thinking this was going to be a match. They had a nice time together and good chemistry. That night I reviewed the form, he liked her but she did not even complete the form. I don't understand why.... She liked him in August but not in October. Maybe he was better looking in the summer, maybe it was the lighting in the restaurant or the food, I don't understand and I probably never will. I even emailed her, reminding her to to complete the form, she did not even reply to my email. Because of this she didn't have any matches while he walked away with two that evening. If something doesn't work out the first time it might work out the second, I have seen this a lot at events because most people need more than one meeting to determine whether they like the other person or not. Sometimes this could be a good thing and help determine success for a long term relationship. The moral of the story is second chances are a good thing.
The Too Quick To Judge Single
Everyone is guilty of passing judgement a little too fast. We all do it even though we don't want to admit it. While some will overcome their judgement and look beyond and give the other person a try, some will just sit with their preconceived notions and won't even give it another look. At our last event I paired two singles that I have come to know quite well since they both attended previous events at different times. Finally, they both showed up at the same one and I thought that it was time that these two should meet. He is an amazing guy with a great personality he loves making people laugh and is the life of the party. She is extremely nice, outgoing and loves to have a good laugh. They complement each other perfectly. She is the audience he has been looking for. Evidently, she liked him and selected him as a match, he on the other hand, never completed the form. I asked him what he thought of her, and he told me he preferred someone outdoorsy who enjoyed camping, hiking, etc. I was disappointed in his response, while his reasoning is valid it's not what people have in common that make them a great couple it's what compliments them that does. Maybe camping is not for her, and it's not for me either, and many other women out there, but finding the right person also involves sacrifice and going the extra mile for them. She might not like camping but maybe she'll go along with it because he likes it. I thought it was such a shame to make such a quick judgement and to pass on someone who could potentially be great for him. I can't stress this enough, it's good to have a few things in common but you need to have things that compliment each other, and knowing that the other person is willing to do something because you love it, is the relationship goal you want to achieve.
We have our next event coming up soon, so please be the open minded single I know you could be, and stay tuned for more stories. I'm sure I'll have something great to report to all you of you! In the meantime, sound off in the comments below. Do you think you should wait around for the jet set single to book a date? Why did the girl not like the guy the second time around? Finally, are you too quick to judge? Should that guy have given the girl a chance even though she wasn't outdoorsy? I'm dying to know what you think.
Best,
Jenn
