3 things you should not talk about at our events.

After hosting a few events, we've seen and heard our fair share of big NO NO's that should not be discussed at our events. I'm not saying that we've been eavesdropping on people's conversations but we always ask for everyone's input after our event and some people love to share their experience and opinions so here I am reporting our findings.

1- Other dating events

Well, well, this little faux pas, I happened to stumble upon live! So I'm picking up the name cards and two girls are talking sitting next to each other and one of them has on her phone the Eventbrite web page with a competing dating event, which I happen to notice as I was walking behind them. It took everything inside of me not to say anything. I kept it together because the truth is we have been told by many guests that our events are better than others. Many FFl'ers prefer our parties vs another huge competitor that hosts dinning experiences with strangers that I shall not name.

Anyway, enough about them back to the story, it's clear that these two women did not have a good time and I know for a fact that they did not have any matches, but it takes more than one event to meet a good match. If you play the game right you will get your money's worth and what you came to our events to accomplish. One FFLer had come to 3 events before landing two great matches and several dates afterwards. From the beginning of his journey until he met his matches he had gone through a pool of about 35 women that he could have swiped right or left in his mind. Another FFLer comes every few months and gets matches and dates every time. She knows how to work it and gets the job done, kudos to her! According to my google search, it takes about 3960 swipes during the course of 8 months to find true love. At our rate it will take a lot less time, less frustration, and loads more fun to meet someone special. So often, I see different people who would make a good match that never end up at the same dinner party at the same time. In order to cross paths, you need attend several events. Almost everyone makes new friends at our events. I believe the best way to maximize your experience with us is to tag along with a friend to each event until you find your best match. Focus on the event even though you don't see any potential matches. You can use the event to broaden your network. And don't scope out other events on your phone, you are wasting your time and missing great opportunities!

2- Exes

I don't know when is a good time to talk about your ex but definitely not when you are meeting someone new. I guess everyone has baggage that must be unloaded at some point such as: the "big relationship" you had that did not work out, or past trauma and experiences that have changed how you currently look for a new partner. This information is completely normal to share but if you do it too early that's a red flag. You'll fall into the category of people that begin most sentences with "my shrink says..." and nobody wants to hear that. Bad first dates, and the infamous line "you remind me of my ex" fall into this category as well. All dating experiences and reminders of the ghosts from our past should be off the table. I know these are relatable topic but it should not be what you are presenting to strangers you are meeting for the first time. Overall, talking about the ex too soon is probably a sign that you don't have much to talk about with this new person. It speaks volumes on its own, so you should move on to the next person.

3- Kids

Whether you presently have children or would like to have them in the future I do not believe our dinner parties are the place to discuss them. Kids are a sensitive topic and in my opinion it's a third date conversation. I know a lot of people will disagree and say "I don't want to waste my time with someone who doesn't want kids", "you have to be honest about having children", "I love my kids why would I keep it a secret" etc. All of these arguments are valid but why bring up such a sensitive topic when most people won't go past a first date? There's a saying "I'll cross that bridge when I get there" . Well, this particular bridge is located at the 3rd date, not before! It starts with a casual conversation and laughs; I feel that a shared sense of humour is a great indicator of a match. Get to know each other and then discuss your life goals and your current situation with or sans kids. These are big topics and should be discussed only if you really like someone and I believe the third date is the best time to decide whether you cross the bridge together and continue to see each other or if you both come to the realization that there is no future as a couple.

I have a lot more to say about kids but I will leave that for a separate blog post.

What do you think? Do you agree with my 3 non discussions at our events? I'm dying to read what you think. Share your thoughts and comment.